DIY Passover with 14Y Selah

This conversation was hosted as part of our series, “DIY Passover with _____” in which Recustom’s partnerships manager, Jessica, interviewed different Jewish communal organizations about the many different ways to personalize the Passover seder. Read on for her conversation with Jeremy from 14Y Selah about recovery and community at the seder table. 

At Recustom, we provide tools to DIY Jewish rituals, including Passover Haggadahs. Our full content library is free to explore here. And, you can learn more about how 14Y Selah is creating Jewish community for people in recovery  here.

Jessica: As a co-founder, could you start by sharing the origins of 14Y Selah?

Jeremy: I’m the Associate Director of 14Y programs and one of three co-founders of Selah. My journey is one with lived experience with addiction and recovery. I was brought into a beautiful Jewish community in Los Angeles, which taught me about recovery and has been a cornerstone of how I live my life. That community helped me to realize that there should be more communities, especially Jewish recovery communities that offer pluralistic support. That’s Selah’s DNA. 

We came together with a shared wish that a community like Selah existed when we were young. A community that you go to experience Jewish tradition, High Holidays and that you don’t need to always bring your perfect self to. That’s Selah in a nutshell: 3 people with lived experience, believing in the power of Judaism as an ancient access point to individual and collective healing.

Jessica: Selah is self-described as, “A participation-celebrated, perfection-averse, everyone-welcome community of people in recovery and recovery-curious, grounded in Jewish tradition.” I love how boldly expansive and specific this description is. Following this framework, what advice do you have for hosts to make their seder tables comfortable for sober or sober curious friends and family? 

Jeremy: That question guided the resource we put together for Passover this year. If you’re hosting, it’s always a good idea to include a non-alcoholic beverage option. Make sure that the table is set with non-alcoholic beverages, so that it doesn’t create additional barriers for the people sitting at the table. You don’t need to remove alcohol or wine from your seder table. It’s about making sure that there is an option for everyone, so that no one feels othered. Part of recovery is often feeling othered. When somebody acknowledges that your experience is different, it allows you to participate more fully. It’s a blessing to know that your spot at the table was set for you. 

Jessica: And, what advice do you have for sober or sober curious guests attending a seder?  

Jeremy: People traverse their recovery journey in many different ways. Recovery is a really personal journey and until you invite others into that journey, you can’t assume that people know what you need. Part of recovery is being able to claim and share that it’s important to you. 

It’s okay to let the host know that you’re coming to the table in recovery. And, to ask if there will be non-alcoholic options available or to offer to provide those options. 

Jessica: I think it benefits the host to understand what each guest is bringing to their table. Naming your needs can be vulnerable, but a community should welcome that openness. 

Jeremy: It's true that you can’t get back what you share, so you should be comfortable. And, if someone is inviting you into a space, they are opening up a dialogue. As a guest, I’d try and remind myself that this is an invitation to show up as myself.

Jessica: What connections do you see between recovery and the story of Passover?

Jeremy: Passover is deeply connected to the story of recovery. It’s a story of liberation and moving towards community. And, when we understand recovery as a mode of collective healing, we’re grounding into that Jewish tradition. 

The Passover story was my access point into understanding how recovery is a Jewish value. Often, we understand pain as something unique to ourself, but the journey of recovery is a journey of experience, strength and hope. It’s realizing that you’re not the first person with this pain, and you won’t be the person to put a period at the end of it. These themes feel natural to me to reflect on through the Passover story, not in a vacuum, but with community.

Jessica: The modality of the Passover seder, literally sitting at a table with one another, lends itself so well to the kind of simultaneous inward and collective reflection you’re describing. 

Jeremy: Right, it’s an opportunity to see how we might connect in a new way with an ancient tradition. 

Jessica: So, how can folks get involved with Selah?

Jeremy: Check out our website and get in touch with our team! We’re always happy to figure out your place within our community. Selah is not only for people in recovery, but for anyone who really cares about the human spirit. We have ecstatic dance events and monthly Shabbat dinners. Not everything is super heavy or reflective, it’s about breaking bread and being together in a sober environment. 

Find the Passover Resource Guide Jeremy mentioned here and even more Passover content to DIY your seder on Recustom.com.